a week full of emotional ride.. asyik baran aje. obviously in need of positive energy.. *haisz*
perhaps, u just don't care what ever i have to say. perhaps, secretly u'd say "whatever!!!"
tidak kah kau amat, sangat, benar2 tahu yg kau lah dunia utk ku? pelangi yg dilangit itu hiasan hati ku? suria yg hangat itu kasihmu pd ku? sungai yg mengalir itu tenang wajahmu? awan dilangit itu berlukis wajahmu? angin berhembus itu sentuhanmu?.. fantasi mungkin. bila berhenti nnti, baru ku sedar selama ini ku bermimpi panjang. sendiri.
officially - giving up!
Mengundur mencariku tidak semudah berlari meninggalkan ku. Jika kau menoleh kebelakang, ku mungkin masih ada disitu, atau mungkin jua telah berundur diri. Jika ku tiada disitu, usahlah dicari. Teruskan lah lari mu menuju apa yg benar2 mahu dicari..
"Not in é mood for talking. Sorry." Not even to me? I wonder who actually am I to u now - the one that should u be together thru rain or shine.. I'm clueless. *sigh* :(
Above are his posts in FB that referring to his emotion towards me. Sad. I feel like I'm an evil person that hurt him so much. I don't have any intention to make him sad. My bad and my sin. He asked me, what actually I want in this life? I'm clueless. I don't have the answer. Last time, I said I just want to be happy. Perhaps, I already found one. Him. Or maybe 'him'. But then, urgh... I'm still haunted by 'him'. It's not just Alyah's version of "Sekali segala ada - Ada rindu yang datang tiba2 - Tak mungkin kerana sayang - Cuma terganggu oleh perasaan". It's the fact that I still can't over him. Totally. He's still here *heart* and here *brain*. That's why I reacted strangely. I hurt those people who loves me. Unpurposely. I scared to love people so much *again*. The wound still red. I thought when I'm with 'him', he will cure the pain. He's going to be my savior. That's why I give everything after I almost lost everything. But he wasn't meant for me. *Or maybe I wasn't meant for him, actually* Therefore I turn to him. He never fail to love me unconditionally. But now I think, I'm the one that fail him. Ever since we met after the Book Fair, we quarrel a lot. A LOT!! I make his life upside down. He always says that everything that I do, affect him.
I don't know now. Am I really deserve him? Or I just making his life miserable by having him by my side? GOD... I really don't know. Why do I have to gone through all these?? *sigh*
perhaps, u just don't care what ever i have to say. perhaps, secretly u'd say "whatever!!!"
tidak kah kau amat, sangat, benar2 tahu yg kau lah dunia utk ku? pelangi yg dilangit itu hiasan hati ku? suria yg hangat itu kasihmu pd ku? sungai yg mengalir itu tenang wajahmu? awan dilangit itu berlukis wajahmu? angin berhembus itu sentuhanmu?.. fantasi mungkin. bila berhenti nnti, baru ku sedar selama ini ku bermimpi panjang. sendiri.
officially - giving up!
Mengundur mencariku tidak semudah berlari meninggalkan ku. Jika kau menoleh kebelakang, ku mungkin masih ada disitu, atau mungkin jua telah berundur diri. Jika ku tiada disitu, usahlah dicari. Teruskan lah lari mu menuju apa yg benar2 mahu dicari..
"Not in é mood for talking. Sorry." Not even to me? I wonder who actually am I to u now - the one that should u be together thru rain or shine.. I'm clueless. *sigh* :(
Above are his posts in FB that referring to his emotion towards me. Sad. I feel like I'm an evil person that hurt him so much. I don't have any intention to make him sad. My bad and my sin. He asked me, what actually I want in this life? I'm clueless. I don't have the answer. Last time, I said I just want to be happy. Perhaps, I already found one. Him. Or maybe 'him'. But then, urgh... I'm still haunted by 'him'. It's not just Alyah's version of "Sekali segala ada - Ada rindu yang datang tiba2 - Tak mungkin kerana sayang - Cuma terganggu oleh perasaan". It's the fact that I still can't over him. Totally. He's still here *heart* and here *brain*. That's why I reacted strangely. I hurt those people who loves me. Unpurposely. I scared to love people so much *again*. The wound still red. I thought when I'm with 'him', he will cure the pain. He's going to be my savior. That's why I give everything after I almost lost everything. But he wasn't meant for me. *Or maybe I wasn't meant for him, actually* Therefore I turn to him. He never fail to love me unconditionally. But now I think, I'm the one that fail him. Ever since we met after the Book Fair, we quarrel a lot. A LOT!! I make his life upside down. He always says that everything that I do, affect him.
I don't know now. Am I really deserve him? Or I just making his life miserable by having him by my side? GOD... I really don't know. Why do I have to gone through all these?? *sigh*
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