Strong Enough

Semalam buat kali pertama setelah beberapa ketika, dia menelefon aku. Atas sebab apa? Sebab parcel yang aku pos sudah selamat diterimanya. Sudah aku jangka reaksinya. Yup, he did not like it. Tapi what to do. Even myself not like it. Memang itu adalah hak aku. Sebab itu hadiah bersempena hari lahir aku. Tapi aku tak kuat untuk simpan. Aku masih bertatih2... Aku tak boleh nak menipu dia yang aku belum boleh bersetentang dengan dia.

Tapi semalam alhamdulillah, aku sendiri terkejut dengan diri aku. Aku boleh bercakap dengan dia tanpa aku menitiskan airmata setitis pun. Dan intonasi aku bercakap pun macam biasa. Tak ada perasaan marah atau benci atau sedih. Ada la one part yang aku sedikit touching bila aku luah kekesalan aku padanya. But the rest, it seems like I spoke more for myself. Comforting myself.

Dia bertanya andai kami masih boleh berkawan. Jawapan aku not for this particular moment. Aku belum cukup kuat. Aku taknak perasaan sayang itu masih ada. Aku risau jika kami berkawan dan perasaan itu masih wujud, aku jadi senang terusik dengan perlakuannya. Aku jadi extra sensitif dan extra caring. As a friend, itu bukan hak aku. So, biarlah aku rawat luka aku sendiri sehingga aku dah betul2 kuat.

Tuhan, terima kasih sebab menghadiahkan aku kekuatan ini. Dan Adik, terima kasih sebab jadi tulang belakang kekuatan Abang. Abang kuat sebab Adik kuat. Thanks so much my little brother.

I don't need your sympathy

There's nothing you can say or do for me

And I don't want a miracle

You'll never change for no one

I hear your reasons why 

Where did you sleep last night?

And was she worth it, was she worth it?

'Cos I'm strong enough 

To live without you

Strong enough and I quit crying

Long enough now I'm strong enough

To know you gotta go

There's no more to say 

So save your breath

And then walk away

No matter what I hear you say

I'm strong enough to know you gotta go

So you feel misunderstood 

Baby, have I got news for you

On being used, I could write a book

You don't wanna hear about it

I've been losing sleep 

You've been going cheap

She ain't worth half of me it's true

I'm telling you

Now I'm strong enough to live without you 

Strong enough and I quit crying

Long enough now I'm strong enough

To know you gotta go 

Come hell or waters high 

You'll never see me cry

This is our last goodbye, it's true

I'm telling you 

That I'm strong enough to live without you

Stron enough and I quit crying

Long enough now I'm strong enough

To know you gotta go

There's no more to say 

So save your breath

And you walk away

No matter what I hear you say

I'm strong enough to know you gotta go