The dream began with I started recreate this social-network-website and I added him. Everything went well smoothly until I received a private message. In the message, the sender insisted me not to disturb Atok anymore. I was totally surprised. So I referred to Atok who's the fella. He admitted that the fella is the person he's been seeing apparently. And they already been attached physically and emotionally.
GOD!!!!! I'm shocked to death. So I asked him what are we now and where we are heading??? He just quiet. So I think it's time for me to make decision. Since he already found someone that can makes him happy, I think it's a sign for me to back-off. So, I walked away.
Geeee..... It's a super scary dream!!!! Immediately I texted him once I woke up. I told him that I had a bad dream. I didn't explain in details but I just told him to tell me straightly if what I dream is happening for real. I just want him to be honest. This relationship is based on trust. This is not a marriage where everything based on obligation. He don't have to restrict himself just for the sake of pleasing me.
I know that this relationship is getting duller. But I'm putting my butt to try my hardest to make it more livelier and more colorful for us. I'm putting my everything just to be with him. Owh so pathetic I am!!!!
Whatever makes him happy make me happy to. Even though it might come with a huge package - pain! But I have to understand that he deserves the best and he has the right to seek for that best.
But as for now, I'm very fragile and vulnerable.... I love him with all my heart and I can't bare of losing him. But I think, I have to be prepared. Anything can happen. It just our faith that keep us together, InsyaALLAH.....
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